Was he trying to irritate her? Sometimes she would swear he was, even in his idle contemplation, even in his "reminders." He could have, after all, chosen to be quiet, to not comment. But he still somehow felt the need.
Whether he believed it or not, it still spoke of something wholy human to her, something rebellious, lurking just beneath the surface.
She expelled breath sharply through her nose, shifting to her feet, coming out to plop down in front of him, settling on her knees until her position was an echo of his. Her eyes were icy pale, fixed to his face.
"Most of my life gets played by someone else's rules." Her jaw tightened. "No matter what, ever, I don't seem to get to choose. Because someone always thinks they know better. You can argue that every single thing I've done is in reaction to something else, someone who 'knew better.' I don't need that from you too. I don't need someone else who looks down on me, who thinks I can't or shouldn't make my own choices. I want to make my own choices, James. Even if they're 'bad' to you, even if they put me at risk, they're still mine. It means I'm alive. It means I am -- or can be -- something more than what I was supposed to be."
"So if you want to guard me, protect me from whatever's out there, look down on me because you know what it is and I don't, scoff that I hold up a dagger against the world and it's not enough . . . I don't need that. Not from you, not from anyone. If you're going to do that, you can get out now."
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Whether he believed it or not, it still spoke of something wholy human to her, something rebellious, lurking just beneath the surface.
She expelled breath sharply through her nose, shifting to her feet, coming out to plop down in front of him, settling on her knees until her position was an echo of his. Her eyes were icy pale, fixed to his face.
"Most of my life gets played by someone else's rules." Her jaw tightened. "No matter what, ever, I don't seem to get to choose. Because someone always thinks they know better. You can argue that every single thing I've done is in reaction to something else, someone who 'knew better.' I don't need that from you too. I don't need someone else who looks down on me, who thinks I can't or shouldn't make my own choices. I want to make my own choices, James. Even if they're 'bad' to you, even if they put me at risk, they're still mine. It means I'm alive. It means I am -- or can be -- something more than what I was supposed to be."
"So if you want to guard me, protect me from whatever's out there, look down on me because you know what it is and I don't, scoff that I hold up a dagger against the world and it's not enough . . . I don't need that. Not from you, not from anyone. If you're going to do that, you can get out now."